Tuesday, July 27, 2010

So, why?

I have a feeling that a lot people who have read the last two posts are wondering, "So why the heck did you buy this big expensive house that you can't afford?" Fair question.

And the answer is, we could afford it at the time. John's salary had doubled over the course of just a few years. We were blessed with consistent bonuses from his job at Capital One, with which we paid for private school and our annual vacation to Vermont. We put our house on the market the summer before Mitchell was born (six years ago) and then took it off when I started having contractions before every showing (two months early!) because of the physical exertion required to get my toddler and my preschooler out the door and leave the house perfect for every showing. The following spring, we tried again. This time, we sold the house in six weeks and began the building process on the new house.

After we moved into the new house, Charlotte was born (nine months later, only 21 months younger than Mitchell) and then we had a 1st grader, a preschooler, a toddler and an infant. The first year with Charlotte was pretty easy. She was a great baby ... very easy-going and a great sleeper. As Jack was entering 2nd grade and Holly Grace was entering Kindergarten, Charlotte was just coming into "toddlerhood" and Mitchell was a full-on, tantrum-throwing preschooler. That fall, John had the opportunity to propose to his boss that they offer him a "package" and he would leave Capital One. He had been dreaming of leaving and being self-employed for a while and was able to "sell" Capital One on laying him off. He got a great package (almost a year of severance) and we were excited for him to pursue his dream of owning his own business and being his own boss.

In hindsight, again, we can see God's hand in our situation. I really benefited from having John at home and from his help with the kids. Especially when I needed to go somewhere/pick someone up/take someone to an activity during the afternoon. It was such a blessing to be able to leave Charlotte (and sometimes Mitchell) napping at home under John's care rather than waking them up to take them with me. The kids LOVED having Daddy at home and, for the most part, did really well understanding that if Daddy was in his office, he was working, and it was important to not disturb him. I would not trade the time we had him at home for anything.

Long story short (yes, I know, too late), the business did not work out and it became clear that John was going to need to get a [real] job [with benefits]. A job (at GMAC) came along, but the year and a half off, without significant income from the business, had definitely taken it's toll on our savings. The new job paid less than the job at Capital One and the bonus structure was pretty pitiful compared to what he made before. Don't get me wrong, we were thankful for the job, and certainly the benefits.

And that basically puts us back to last summer, where we had the conversation regarding school for the 2010-2011 school year.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Changes (Part the Second)

So, there we were, having decided to homeschool (sorta) our kids. For a while I was in denial, just hoping that our situation would change and we would just slide right back in to CDA like nothing had ever happened. And, even though John did get a promotion in January, it just wasn't going to put us where we would need to be, financially, to continue to have our kids in private school.

In March, I got a phone call from the Principal of the local private school from which I graduated. They were looking for a middle school math teacher for next year. Guess what?! I have a lifetime certification in Texas to teach math to K-8th grade and all subjects K-6. Now, I knew that I probably didn't want to go get a full time job if it meant spending all the money I made (and then some) to have my children at that school or if it meant putting my kids in public school. However, what an honor for my former teacher and now, friend, to call me and pursue me professionally! As a stay-at-home mom for 10+ years, it feels really nice for someone to see that you have value in a profession. The principal asked me to come in and just take a tour of the new facilities and chat with him. John encouraged me to go, if for nothing else than an ego boost. We scheduled it for a day when my little ones would be in preschool and my big kids would be at school.

Now, this was supposed to be an informal meeting. Luckily, I decided to dress up rather than down (meaning, I had heels and slacks on). Well, when I arrived I found out that our informal meeting had evolved into a full-on panel interview. Wow. I didn't see that coming. Fifteen years ago, fresh out of college, I would have completely panicked. But this ... it's an entirely different situation when you don't need or necessarily even want the job. The tables are turned and you almost get to interview the interviewer! Well, I ended up (after the interview) visiting with the President of the school, whom I also knew from my time there as a student. He offered to me a very generous swap - my four children at the school full-time in exchange for me teaching there full-time. Now, I did the math and that comes out to more than $45,000 in tuition and fees for my kiddos. Holy smokes, that's a lot of money. It would have been a sweet gig. If ... if, if, if. If I had received any confirmation at all that that was where God wanted my kids and me to be.

But the fact is, when faced with the prospect of a full-time job (and we all know that teaching is more than full-time, because you WILL bring work home with you, at least at first) and NOT getting to spend time with my precious children, I could not bear the thought! I did NOT want to turn them over to someone else for 7 hours a day, especially my little ones! I think God used that day to change my outlook from being skeptical to being thankful for where I am. Looking back, I'm sure he was just showing me all my options so that I would be that much more convinced that homeschooling was for us. Really, I would have no excuses - I could easily have put the kids in public school (free, obviously!) or private school (free, if I was willing to work), but this way, I actually had to "choose" homeschooling instead of feeling like it was my "last resort".

Right now, my kids are my mission field. Now, it becomes more clear to me why missionaries become missionaries and travel thousands of miles from home. It is not unlike homeschooling, in some ways. It is not something you do because it is your "last resort" (or at least not for us!) ... you do it because God puts the desire in your heart, sometimes without you even knowing it. For me, it's definitely not something I'm doing begrudgingly.

Which brings us back to John's job. Remember back in December when we thought we might be moving to Detroit? Well, at that same time, John's boss (with whom he also worked at Capital One) left GMAC and moved to South Carolina to take another job. Do you see where this is going? They talked informally for months about a possible role for John. And I do mean months. Sometimes, six weeks would go by and then they would meet for breakfast when he happened to be in Dallas. Oh, the frustration of the waiting for me! John is much more patient in this area than I am.

Finally, in June, we (John and I) traveled to Spartanburg, SC for John to go through the "formal interview" process. He was the only candidate for the job, and the job description had been written specifically for him, so I encouraged him to please not grow an extra head on the way to the interview and he would, most likely, be golden. We flew in on a Tuesday, looked around Greenville and Spartanburg, then he had a full day of interviews on Wednesday. While he interviewed, I drove around Spartanburg looking for preschools. That is a completely separate and funny post in itself. Remember, he interviewed on Wednesday. Everything went beautifully and he expected an offer by Friday. *cue crickets*

Apparently the powers that be were out of the office on Friday and the offer did not happen. Longest. Weekend. Of. My. Life.

By Monday, though, John had a written offer. After a little negotiating and eventually accepting the revised offer, John gave his notice at GMAC the next day. That was four weeks ago.

So here's the beauty. Realtor fees? Paid for. Closing costs? Paid for. FOUR MONTHS of temporary living while we are trying to sell our house? Paid for. Full-service move? Paid for. That's the beauty.

Here's the ugly. The house is on the market and I am having to be Stepford Wife! This house has to be perfect all the time. Oh, the horror. We put the house on the market two weeks ago. The first week we had something like SEVEN SHOWINGS. Nice! This week ... (what is up with those crickets?!? I would like to hear something else, like maybe my phone ringing with a showing on the other end!!!) the showings seem to have completely dried up. Not one single showing. Is it because God is only giving me what I can bear? And we did a week of homeschool this last week?

I am a complete wreck about the sale of this house. No matter when we sell it, we (the kids and I) are going to join John in SC on Aug. 22. We are still planning on homeschooling, but we got Charlotte into a preschool that starts on Aug. 23 and we don't really want her to start late. Besides the kids miss Daddy too, too much to wait much longer than that. He is coming home the first and third weekends in August, so that will be good, but single-parenthood is wearing on me for the time being.

My mind is swirling with questions. "What will we do if we don't sell it and the four months of temp housing runs out and we don't have the money to extend the corporate lease on the apartment itself and ...???" Every single day I have to remind myself that God did not order our steps for this ENTIRE LAST YEAR to bring us here and abandon us! One of my favorite verses that I memorized in middle school and still find myself quoting almost every day is Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, 
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 
plans to give you hope and a future."

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Wow. One year (almost) has passed since my last post. Am I really that lame? I totally got sucked into Facebook and for a very long time, formed all my "newsworthy" thoughts into facebook-length posts. So. I'm sure many people think that my blog is "abandoned." Someone get the crash cart ... charge to 350 ... Clear!

Some very interesting things are going on here in the Lodmell household. Where should I begin?

Last summer, John and I struggled to find a way to afford Coram Deo Academy for our two oldest for the year. Jack and Holly had both been at CDA since Kindergarten and it was really working for us, so we definitely wanted to stay. (CDA is a university-model classical Christian school, meaning the kids go to school two days/week and we homeschooled two days/week, with the fifth day being for electives, should we choose to send them at an additional cost on Fridays. Classical refers to the type of education.) Anyway ... we managed to come up with the money for tuition for last year, but it was a stretch. John said as he was paying the tuition last July, "Crissy, I just don't know how we can do this again next year."

So, we started the school year just like we had started school for the past four years. New shoes, new haircuts. First day of school pictures.

It was a very busy fall. I was the "Popcorn Kernel" for Jack's Cub Scout pack and our boys (the entire pack, not my two boys alone) sold over $20K in popcorn. Which means that I had all that popcorn in my garage for a time. A lot of time and effort went into being Popcorn Kernel, and I found it very rewarding, but knew that it was just a one-year thing for me. I felt like God was calling me to pare down my commitments. I did not sign up to be room mom again. I did not help with Girl Scouts at the Service Unit level as I have done in the past. I did keep my position as Girl Scout troop leader, but that was really just about it. No cheerleader coach, either (for sure! Because that was a serious beating, even though it was Upward). The kids were still busy with Scouts (Jack and Holly), karate (Jack), dance (Holly), basketball (Jack) and academic work.

In October, I made an appointment with our school's director, Mrs. Campbell. I knew that re-enrollment time was rapidly approaching at CDA (Jan. 1 begins the re-enrollment period) and that, even though the tuition for the 2010-2011 school year wouldn't be due until July, we would have to make the financial commitment in January. And, let me say, CDA takes the financial commitment very seriously. And rightly so, as they are using our commitment for their budget and to hire teachers. So, I sat down with Mrs. Campbell and discussed our options. She encouraged me to substitute at the school last year and even apply to teach at CDA for the 2010-2011 school year or to consider CDA @home (more on that later). I quickly went online to check out the application and it's pretty intense! I got started on it, but just never felt like God was leading me to jump through the hoops necessary to complete it (letters of recommendation, resume, etc.). So it sat at the back of my mind all throughout the fall.

Meanwhile, times were tight here in our house. I had given up my housekeeper at the end of the summer and was trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to keep our house clean myself. It seemed like our house and our clutter kept getting bigger and bigger and the messes were almost insurmountable. Our house is over 4500 square feet. We love our house. We built it and made all sorts of changes and upgrades and it really worked for our family. At first. But as time went by, it became more and more of an albatross around my neck.

January rolled around and we had to make a decision on school for 2010-2011. We had several options. First, we could keep the kids at CDA in the "signature" (2-day/wk) program, enrolling by faith that God would provide tuition for the coming year, as He had done the previous year. This just didn't quite feel right to us. Second, we could put them in public school (nope). Third, we could homeschool full-time (eep!). Or fourth, we could enroll in CDA's @home program (aha!). This would still be at home full-time, but someone else would be in charge of the curriculum and of keeping me accountable. This sounded like the best option to us, although I was most definitely not super-excited about it. When my kids were little I often said that my greatest fear was that God would call me to homeschool my children, which I did NOT want to do.

Winter turned into spring, then back into winter again (remember the day we got 12+ inches of snow?), then back into spring. But let me back up. In December, John and I talked about how we thought a relocation could be the answer. He thought that with the change coming up in his job at GMAC, there was a good chance that we could relocate to the Detroit area and get out of our house. I was not really excited about Detroit, but hey, we could sure get a great deal on a house there! John thought the chances of making the relo happen were probably about 80%. By January, we were thinking maybe 50%. Then, things at work changed and it became clear that a relo was not a possibility (sadly?).

To be continued...